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THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY.

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Post  FourStringFingerSting Thu May 17, 2012 10:57 pm

Tanner stares at Joe sitting on Jake's couch in the usual upstairs area.

Without a single conscious thought, Tanner picks up an empty porn DVD case and whips it at his head!
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Post  DDWRINKLE Fri May 18, 2012 12:55 am

Before the porn case could even make contact with Joe's smug mug. Damien came up the steps like a bat out of hell

He saw the case on its way to it's destination, before he could even think he leaped in front of Joe screaming "MR.PRESIDENT!!!"

The case hit him square between the eyes sending him crashing to the floor.

Laying there injured and dying he wondered if he was going to make it . . . . .
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Sat May 19, 2012 3:11 am

Laughing incessantly at the DVD hitting Damien in the face, Tanner decided to be an even bigger asshole, and started pelting porn case after porn case at Damien's writhing body. Unbeknownst to everyone else in the room, Tanner had, in fact, been drinking green tea all day.
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Post  DDWRINKLE Sun May 20, 2012 10:52 pm

Just before Tanner had begun pelting Damien with the empty porn cases he came just a bit back to his senses. After realizing the impending doom he acted quickly using a Reflectaga spell. The spell launched the dvd cases back to Tanner at incredible speeds. Damien smirked feeling he had won . . .
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Sun May 20, 2012 11:38 pm

Tanner laughed at Damien's quick-witted attempt to stop him. "Fool! You aren't the only one who's played Kingdom Hearts!"

With a booming echo, Tanner had also cast a Reflectaga spell on himself, causing the DVD case to bounce back and forth between the two of them at unfathomable speeds. The sheer energy of the case being knocked back and forth ripped open a hole in the space time continuum, flooding the room with fluffy kittens, and removing any sense of gravity.

Smirking, Tanner picked up a cat that suited his fancy, and racked it like a shotgun.

"The battle has only just begun." Tanner racked off a few cat lasers at Damien, knowing his Reflectaga spell had worn off by that time.
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Post  DDWRINKLE Tue May 22, 2012 4:42 pm

"Shit!" Damien proclaimed floating in the middle of Jake's upstairs. Despite Tanner's best efforts to thwart him, he had done one thing right. Damien was allergic to anti-gravity!

As soon as Tanner shot a couple lasers at Damien he was about as sick as a dog. His head spinning all he could do was throw up everything he had that afternoon (which was Doritos and Mountain Dew of course).

The mixture of Doritos and Mountain Dew inside Damien's stomach was that of pure awesome. When it had been released from his stomach it had morphed and taken the form of a humanoid creature. With what anyone could assume was his mouth he said sorrowfully "I shall protect you master as you have protected me!"

The bile man threw himself at the powerful beams of light. The first two he ate in the chest sustaining heavy damage and with one last battle cry he rammed into the last shot obliterating him into ash.

"NOOOOO!!!" Damien screamed torn with grief for his newly made friend. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!" He looked around in rage and found the most powerful weapon in his reach. C The Cat!!! He picked the cat up and chucked it at Tanner knowing that C could buy him some time to think out his next attack.
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Post  SKAutomatic-Machinegun Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:01 pm

Little did Tanner and Damien know, fluffy kitties were not the only thing set loose from the rift ripped in time by pornography...

"Who the FUCK THREW MY C CAT!!!" Jake bellowed as he tore the rift asunder unzipping his pants.
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:53 am

Fearful of the infuriated Jake Scudder that had appeared before him, Tanner simply pointed at Damien in accusation.

"It was him!"
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Post  DDWRINKLE Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:52 pm

O_o Damien being very intimidated by Jake's demeanor, suddenly realized he needed an escape route fast. He pulled out his diamond pick axe and started to dig through the floor. He feel into the living room below, gave one solid look of anger to that dick parker dog and kept digging. Making it outside the house Damien felt he was safe from the two crazed people.
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:22 am

"WWWWWRRRROOOOOOONNNGGGG!!!"\

A foot attached to a leg attached to a furious Tanner Simmons burst through the living room wall and flew straight towards Damien's head!
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:22 am

The member 'FourStringFingerSting' has done the following action : Dice Roll!

'The Heart beckons...' : 3
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Post  DDWRINKLE Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:01 pm

Damien put up his arms in an attempt to block Tanners ridiculously sounding kick.


Last edited by DDWRINKLE on Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:01 pm

The member 'DDWRINKLE' has done the following action : Dice Roll!

'The Heart beckons...' : 3
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:16 am

The exact reacting force on Tanner's legs from Damien's counter block vibrated Tanner's molecular structure to the core, and turned Tanner into a gelatinous blob.

"Well, fuck."

That's what Tanner would have said, if he still had a mouth to speak with. But now he's just a blob.
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Post  DDWRINKLE Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:21 pm

The force from Tanner's kick had also caused vibrations throughout Damien's body straight to the core. He had also became a molecular blob. Damien then looked (with what he could only guess was his eyes) at the now gelatinous Tanner. All the rage that he had held in till then exploded outward!

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Damien tried to yell as he blobbed, or more like rolled as fast as he could towards Tanner. He collided with his twin blob. Hoping to do some damage.
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:21 pm

The member 'DDWRINKLE' has done the following action : Dice Roll!

'The Heart beckons...' : 5
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Post  SKAutomatic-Machinegun Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:51 pm

The ethereal being known as Jake laid on his couch with C cat eating bagels as the blobs fought.

"WHAT!? It takes alot of energy to tear through time and space!"
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Post  DDWRINKLE Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:37 am

Damien then realizing that Tanner is taking forever to post. He looks up from the computer screen picks up he phone and dials the number.

As soon as he hears a "Hello?" one the other end he yells "POST YOU HAIRY ASSED FUCKER!!!!!!" He then hit the end call button and waited for his battle to resume on his online forum.
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Post  GravePunchingBabyStomper Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:52 am

*Wonders where all this porn is coming from.*
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Post  MakeOneUp Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:03 pm

At that moment, Charles kicked down the door and screamed, "DID SOMEONE CALL FOR A HAIRY ASSED FUCKER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

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Post  DDWRINKLE Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:47 am

(sorry this post is a mess up)


Last edited by DDWRINKLE on Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post  DDWRINKLE Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:48 am

Damien suddenly realizing that 1) Tanner was not paying much attention to this post and 2) this is turning slowly into a gay fan fiction decided to retreat from his battle as a blob and find a better spot to scope out the situation. Pulling himself together he started to run . . . . and sometimes he drove . . . . and other times he partied with the desert animals. Until soon he ran into none other, Samuel Jackson. Damien then started to plead with Sam in hopes that he would join his crusade against his best friend/enemy.
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Post  FourStringFingerSting Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:48 am

The member 'DDWRINKLE' has done the following action : Dice Roll!

'The Heart beckons...' : 3
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Post  DDWRINKLE Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:53 am

After must persuading Damien got Sam to join his cause. Although Sam wasn't quite convinced he decided to tag along and see if it was worth his involvement. *Damien then looks right at the screen at Tanner* "Your move pal"








Also Charles I don't know if thats a good thing to be a "hairy ass fucker" LOL
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Post  MakeOneUp Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:25 pm

Big ol' titties. Bouncing up and down... and up and down... and up... and down...

Seeing that there was indeed no call for a hairy assed fucker, Charles sat down on the couch next to Jake and started watching the porn, while thinking about the differences between a hairy ass fucker and a hairy assed fucker. *cough* Damien *cough*

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